I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
