I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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