two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
