can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Randomize