i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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