i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
my penis made a compromise with my morals
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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