Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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