I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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