he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
