If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
