She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
