Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
