Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
