one might say we're banned from that church
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
