you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
