woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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