i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
