Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
