You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
