everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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