Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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