too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
