vagina is talking i cant
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just pee around me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
