My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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