He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Houston, we have a blender
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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