at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
