: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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