Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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