Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I've blown a few things in my day
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
organizing the empties. That sober.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
