I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
