I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
