Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
