The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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