Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
