im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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