so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
