the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize