Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
