there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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