i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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