I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize