You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
