Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
