I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
