What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
