She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
