i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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