mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
