remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
