That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
40s are totally the cure
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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