Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
