And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize