YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No stitches, just platelets and will power
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
and eventually we just all took our pants off
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
