highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
