Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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