Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
