Cold hands, warm shart.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
