Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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