Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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