I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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